...I'll keep using LJ for a while. Just for fun and random updates =]

So, in-between studying for finals and all that good crap, I checked my mail.. and Barnes&Nobles sent me this email about some new books.. WHOO HOO!! Anderson Cooper's new book was the featured book, I guess. 
Dispatches from the Edge : A Memoir of War, Disasters, and Survival

I want to read it so much..!! x__X;; I've been wanting to, especially after the interview he did with Oprah. Gawd, I admire him so much!! He's one of my all time favorite journalists, besides Barbara Walters, Peter Jennings, and John Stossel [his "Give Me A Break" segments on 20/20 are kickass!!!]. I mean- the guy is RICH, okies? Like.. FRICKIN FILTHY WEALTHY RICHHH!! They're pretty well off.. His whole family is.. and he decides to dedicate his life to reporting the news to people.. Traveling to places to tell stories that will make a difference in people's lives.. and impact them. Even in the harshest conditions.. the most dangerous ones, too, with the war and all. AHHHH.. and on Opera, it showed him trying to get a job at ABC years ago as an office guy, but they refused him.. and how he applied to a local news station as a novice reporter. He wasn't well known or established, yet he still worked hard and somehow became successful. He didn't depend on his wealthy family to survive, either.. Why I really admire about him is how he he depend on comfort and luxery. He travels all over the world.. and I don't know.. It's interesting how very few people give up the money and comforts they have to pursue something they love... like this survey we did in French. With regards to future career goals, more people would be interested in money, rather than pursuing a job that would make a difference. 
Back to Cooper's interview.. his brother's tragic suicide, man- it must have been hard. He spoke so honestly and candidly about it. The thing that stood out to me the most was how he described what he was doing at the moment of his brother's death.. "You know how people say that they feel a connection.. they just feel when something bad happens to someone close to them? Well, I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything." Wow.. with his interview being so awestruckingly awesome and great, I wonder about his book. Opera said she couldn't stop reading it, so yeah. Cooper's book is at the top of my reading list this summer.
AND I WANT TO READ SO MANY BOOKS.. [besides the required reading.. x__X] books by Fitzgerald.. the GREAT GATSBY!! Didn't get to read it this year =T sucks ass.. more Steinbeck, even if the Grapes of Wrath last summer was enough. LOVED THAT BOOK!! so sad.. ;___; blergh, more books.. must read.. *__* I hope they don't disappoint me, like with the Scarlet Letter. I picked up that book in seventh grade, opened it, and died. It was so.. x____x;; I still want to read it, though.. but-
DON'T WANT TO STUDY, AHHH!! *dies*

On the topic and discussion of books.. the last couple novels we read in AP English have been quite disturbing.. well, not really disturbing, but it made me realize a lot of things about society and life. One of the most provoking books so far has been "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut. Billy Pilgrim and his time traveling.. makes me really wonder about society and the concepts that people hold to be acceptable.. such as war. The realities of war are so disturbing.. and added to that, one of my friends sent me an article about the death of one particular solider, and how he got his head blown off. Simply stating an action does not provide people with how realistic it is. And one thing that really pisses me off is how people idealize the idea of war, violence, and terror. Gack.. 
Billy's daughter, Barbara, too.. She believes that she knows best for her father, but she simply doesn't understand him and his view points. And because she doesn't understand him, she sees him as incompetent. A lot of people do that in life. Belittle others.. damn.
Then, the Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. I'm not done with the book yet, but Holden makes a lot of observations about the people around him, calling them "phonies". To a point, all of us are "phonies", but how do we define what a phony person is..?? Then, there's Holden's thoughts regarding people's past and how they live their lives. It's funny, but I think like him pretty often. Looking at people and how they present themselves, and wonder what their life is like, and so forth.. It's hard to think about the topics that are presented in these novels right now. I'll think about them later.
Great books. Read 'em. WHEEEEE

I feel like such a bookworm xD

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mary: nana are you ok?
me: hmm??
mary: i've noticed you've been gloomy lately

She's been the first to notice, besides the usual people. *shock*

mary: yes but then think of all the other millions of people in the world who feel the exact same way at the same time that you feel lonely... and then you wont be as lonely
mary: haha thats what my friend gain told me
me: haha, it would be like company
me: group therapy :D
me: thats a brilliant way to think of it
me: i never thought of it that way before..
mary: :-)

She's such a sweetie <33 she really is :D

PLEASE STOP

I know you're still reading this
or rereading it, at least...
If you still are
please understand that this is a journal that I use to vent my anger
if I thought that I could say these things to you.. straight out
I would give it a try

Even right now, I'm on the phone with you
and I really have nothing to say..
or at least- I can't express what I want to say
I just can't...

It's been fuckin shit today.. Having everything messed up like this.. having you mad at me, knowing it's my fault.. it's all that much worse.. and today- we were supposed to hang out, too.. I was looking foward to that since yesterday. I woke up, ecstatic, so happy that I was going to be able to spend my day with you.. and it would have been that  much fun.. then I got stupid and then mad.. and then you found out about this sodding journal.. 
You wonder why I didn't tell you about it. I didn't think it was necessary for you to find out about. Although, Yes, the journal does talk about you, but it contains my thoughts and feelings at my worst moments of anger at you. Anger, saddness.. disappointment.. It's all there. It's not hatred. I can't hate you, and you know that. But feel free to hate me, cause it's better to see you hate me, rather than having you feel like crap.

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mood

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happy

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WHEEE, SO LIKE, YEAH
THERES THIS ONE DAY IN MAY
IT COMES AROUND LIKE- ONCE EVERY YEAR
ND IT'S SO FRICKIN SPECTACULAR ND GRAND

WHY, you might ASK
oh you silly people, WHY EVEN ASK?!
YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW

18 YEARS AGO, THIS ONE CHICK WAS SENT TO US
YES, SHE WAS SENT TO EARTH
ND SHE GREW UP
TO BE A FINEEEE KICKASS GAL ;DD

THAT GIRL, PUJAAAAAA, AKA SAKURANEECHAN
WAS BORN 18 YEARS AGO

18.. YOU'RE FRICKIN LEGAL, HUN <3
I LOVE YOU MUCHO

HAPPY FRICKIN 18TH BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE! <3